How to Declutter your life.

Some of Marc’s sneaker collection in Toronto. These are the ones that didn’t make the trip to Mexico.

We’re all familiar with the art of decluttering (thank your Mari Kondo). The importance of ridding ourselves of possessions that no longer ‘bring us joy’ is evident. But what about the other ‘stuff,’ the non-tangible things we carry with us? In this article we discuss why and how to declutter your life.

We often speak of ‘baggage’ as things brought into a new relationship from a previous relationship, but is it limited to that? Most of us carry a suitcase filled with habits, thoughts, people and old versions of ourselves that no longer serve us.

If you follow me or our family vlog, you’ll know we moved to Mexico. It is a tremendous change and a new chapter in our lives. As expected, we had to do countless cycles of decluttering our home. But we had not expected the questions such a significant change would bring up within ourselves. This move is a chance to start over, so why bring all the old useless stuff with us? And starting over isn’t restricted to moving to a new country; you can restart your life whenever it suits you.

As you embark on this new stage in life, ask yourself what you want to bring with you? And who? Where do you want to be in 5? 10 years? With who? Doing what? And how do you want to feel? What changes in your current life need to happen to get there.

Asking these questions is essential before any life change, milestone, or even any time you feel weighed down and need a refresh.

In the weeks before saying goodbye to our life in Toronto, we reflected on the non-tangible things weighing us down or holding us back.

These are 4 categories we reflected on and that we suggest to help declutter your life.

Habits

The first item we looked at was our habits. We knew what practices we wanted to develop or prioritize with this move. One is more outdoor time and the other is a solid work-from-home flow that would support our creativity and productivity.

It’s easy to imagine how those two habits alone would encompass much of our days; which means we needed to leave some old habits behind. We decided on saying adios to Netflix and particular news/current event podcasts. Cutting off Netflix seemed impossible back home, but we barely noticed it. Not to rub it in but swapping Love is Blind with a beautiful pacific coast sunset isn’t much of a sacrifice.

So, how do you start decluttering some of your habits? Take a close look at the habits you have in your life. Which ones will help you get where you want to go? And which ones will hinder you? We tend to think of habits as big, bad, negative things like a smoking habit. Not to say that nixing a smoking habit isn’t a legit and commendable feat but what may be a good habit for one may be a complete waste of time for another.

Try this exercise: keep a journal for a day or two and document all the everyday things you do and how much time you spend doing them, include any new habits you hope to adopt. Now, number those actions in order of importance, prioritizing your new habits.

Look at the bottom of your list and pick at least one single item that, if removed, would allow you more time to focus on your new habit. Try and follow that schedule for a few days and see how you feel. More productive? More accomplished?

It might take some time to adjust, and it’s ok if you indulge a bit in your old habits, as long as they don’t become routine again. If I’m being 100% honest, I have snuck in a few Christmas rom-coms and classics. The important thing is your daily routine and if that routine is helping push you forward and not hold you back.

Declutter your life through shifting your mindset

If you know me, are familiar with our blog or listen to our podcast, you’re familiar with how much importance I put on a healthy mindset. I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but the thoughts you have, the way you speak to yourself, and the beliefs you hold affect how you feel and act.

How exactly do you declutter your life through mindset? It’s a good question and in my experience, takes a lot of self-reflection. We all have so many limiting beliefs and thoughts that we don’t even notice.

It’s sad to even write that out but, I’ve always thought I was talentless. I avoid doing things that I enjoy doing, like writing, or sharing with anyone, because of that belief.

The messed up part is that writing more, sharing that writing and being open to feedback is the way to get better. So, believe me when I say that creating a blog and sharing my personal thoughts and experience has been a complete mind%?&.

I’m going to save you the long, psychotherapy session of WHY I had those beliefs and get to the critical part. My belief only held as much validity as I chose to give it. I told myself I wasn’t good at writing so, I avoided it and never improved. The reality is we all have talents, and we’re all capable of improvement.

I started to tell myself I was a writer, and a blogger, I told other people. I started a blog, and I started writing. Even though I make mistakes and I may never win a Pulitzer, I started, and I’m improving.

In my example, I needed to eliminate some limiting beliefs holding me back from doing things I wanted to do. Those beliefs affected how I saw myself and my confidence. I framed writing as a possibility and an opportunity for growth instead of a dead end, opening doors and allowing me to embrace the challenge instead of shying away from it.

This may be different for you. Your mindset may need to be decluttered from negative thoughts about yourself, negative thoughts about others, or even other people’s opinions about you. These things can take up too much space in your head and hold you back.

It will be different for everyone and that’s why self-reflection is key. Meditation is a great way to do this. One trick to try and figure out what thoughts are holding you back is to pay attention to the negative thoughts you have throughout the day. Take time to pause, examine negative thoughts, and reframe them positively.

If you’re ready to embark on decluttering your beliefs and thoughts, try asking yourself these questions:

What negative thoughts do you have about yourself, about other people?

How do those thoughts affect you? What are they holding me back from? Are they providing anything positive to your life. How much time do you spend with these thoughts?

Old Versions of Yourself

“Every next version of your life will demand a new version of you.” - ANONYMOUS

Similar to beliefs, we can carry old, and often limiting versions of ourselves. These old versions can influence our behaviour patterns, how we view ourselves and how we allow others to interact with us.

This becomes particularly problematic when we allow others to hold certain expectations based on a version of us that no longer exists. Even more troubling, we sometimes play the role of our former selves to make others comfortable. A typical example is parents treating their adult children like they were still children.

This can diminish our progress and growth, especially in cases where we play along. It’s essential to mindfully detach from our old selves and gently let people know that we’ve grown and are no longer the same person.
This will allow for increased self-confidence, awareness, and deeper, more authentic relations with those in your circle.

People in your life

I saved the most difficult for last, but it can yield the most significant change. What people in your life are you ready to let go of?

It’s often said that ‘you are the sum of the 5 people you most surround yourself with’. With that thought in mind, what does that say about you if you are surrounding yourself with toxic, energy-draining people? And how does it affect your mood, mindset and motivation?

The thought of “decluttering” people and your relationship sounds cruel and probably makes you feel a tad uncomfortable, icky even. It doesn’t mean you need to cut them off completely, but perhaps limit the time you spend with them and their access to you.

I haven’t decluttered any people from my life recently but I’ve become aware of how I feel after spending time with certain people. There are people in my life that leave me with a positive feeling after spending the day with them. These are the people that I chose to share more time and myself with. I knew that whatever I told them would be met with interest and support.

The people I did declutter were celebrities and social media personalities. This is something that often gets overlooked but what you consume on social media, Netflix, the news can impact you just as much as the people you spend time with. It makes sense when you think of it because many of us spend more time online than with actual people.

Woman scrolling through phone

I went through my Instagram list and unfollowed many of the celebrities, gossip, clothing and news accounts replacing them with travel and expat accounts for inspiration. We also started to watch more travel and expat vlogs and informative vlogs on blogging and video editing. It helped inspire and motivate us to keep moving forward.

Those are our 4 categories to reflect on to declutter your life. Unlike a house or room declutter that can be completed a few isolated times a year, these non-tangible things require constant reflection and work.

Have you ever tried to declutter your life? How was your experience?

We often speak of ‘baggage’ as things brought into a new relationship from a previous relationship, but is it limited to that? Most of us carry a suitcase filled with habits, thoughts, people and old versions of ourselves that no longer serve us.

If you follow me or our family vlog, you’ll know we moved to Mexico. It is a tremendous change and a new chapter in our lives. As expected, we had to do countless cycles of decluttering our home. But we had not expected the questions such a significant change would bring up within ourselves. This move is a chance to start over, so why bring all the old useless stuff with us? And starting over isn’t restricted to moving to a new country; you can restart your life whenever it suits you.

As you embark on this new stage in life, ask yourself what you want to bring with you? And who? Where do you want to be in 5? 10 years? With who? Doing what? And how do you want to feel? What changes in your current life need to happen to get there.

Asking these questions is essential before any life change, milestone, or even any time you feel weighed down and need a refresh.

In the weeks before saying goodbye to our life in Toronto, we reflected on the non-tangible things weighing us down or holding us back.

These are 4 categories we reflected on and that we suggest to help declutter your life.

Habits

The first item we looked at was our habits. We knew what practices we wanted to develop or prioritize with this move. One is more outdoor time and the other is a solid work-from-home flow that would support our creativity and productivity.

It’s easy to imagine how those two habits alone would encompass much of our days; which means we needed to leave some old habits behind. We decided on saying adios to Netflix and particular news/current event podcasts. Cutting off Netflix seemed impossible back home, but we barely noticed it. Not to rub it in but swapping Love is Blind with a beautiful pacific coast sunset isn’t much of a sacrifice.

So, how do you start decluttering some of your habits? Take a close look at the habits you have in your life. Which ones will help you get where you want to go? And which ones will hinder you? We tend to think of habits as big, bad, negative things like a smoking habit. Not to say that nixing a smoking habit isn’t a legit and commendable feat but what may be a good habit for one may be a complete waste of time for another.

Try this exercise: keep a journal for a day or two and document all the everyday things you do and how much time you spend doing them, include any new habits you hope to adopt. Now, number those actions in order of importance, prioritizing your new habits.

Look at the bottom of your list and pick at least one single item that, if removed, would allow you more time to focus on your new habit. Try and follow that schedule for a few days and see how you feel. More productive? More accomplished?

It might take some time to adjust, and it’s ok if you indulge a bit in your old habits, as long as they don’t become routine again. If I’m being 100% honest, I have snuck in a few Christmas rom-coms and classics. The important thing is your daily routine and if that routine is helping push you forward and not hold you back.

Declutter your life through shifting your mindset

If you know me, are familiar with our blog or listen to our podcast, you’re familiar with how much importance I put on a healthy mindset. I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but the thoughts you have, the way you speak to yourself, and the beliefs you hold affect how you feel and act.

How exactly do you declutter your life through mindset? It’s a good question and in my experience, takes a lot of self-reflection. We all have so many limiting beliefs and thoughts that we don’t even notice.

It’s sad to even write that out but, I’ve always thought I was talentless. I avoid doing things that I enjoy doing, like writing, or sharing with anyone, because of that belief.

The messed up part is that writing more, sharing that writing and being open to feedback is the way to get better. So, believe me when I say that creating a blog and sharing my personal thoughts and experience has been a complete mind %?&.

I’m going to save you the long, psychotherapy session of WHY I had those beliefs and get to the critical part. My belief only held as much validity as I chose to give it. I told myself I wasn’t good at writing so, I avoided it and never improved. The reality is we all have talents, and we’re all capable of improvement.

I started to tell myself I was a writer, and a blogger, I told other people. I started a blog, and I started writing. Even though I make mistakes and I may never win a Pulitzer, I started, and I’m improving.

In my example, I needed to eliminate some limiting beliefs holding me back from doing things I wanted to do. Those beliefs affected how I saw myself and my confidence. I framed writing as a possibility and an opportunity for growth instead of a dead end, opening doors and allowing me to embrace the challenge instead of shying away from it.

This may be different for you. Your mindset may need to be decluttered from negative thoughts about yourself, negative thoughts about others, or even other people’s opinions about you. These things can take up too much space in your head and hold you back.

It will be different for everyone and that’s why self-reflection is key. Meditation is a great way to do this. One trick to try and figure out what thoughts are holding you back is to pay attention to the negative thoughts you have throughout the day. Take time to pause, examine negative thoughts, and reframe them positively.

If you’re ready to embark on decluttering your beliefs and thoughts, try asking yourself these questions:

What negative thoughts do you have about yourself, about other people?

How do those thoughts affect you? What are they holding me back from? Are they providing anything positive to your life. How much time do you spend with these thoughts?

Old Versions of Yourself

“Every next version of your life will demand a new version of you.”

ANONYMOUS

Similar to beliefs, we can carry old, and often limiting versions of ourselves. These old versions can influence our behaviour patterns, how we view ourselves and how we allow others to interact with us.

This becomes particularly problematic when we allow others to hold certain expectations based on a version of us that no longer exists. Even more troubling, we sometimes play the role of our former selves to make others comfortable. A typical example is parents treating their adult children like they were still children.

This can diminish our progress and growth, especially in cases where we play along. It’s essential to mindfully detach from our old selves and gently let people know that we’ve grown and are no longer the same person.
This will allow for increased self-confidence, awareness, and deeper, more authentic relations with those in your circle.

People in your life

I saved the most difficult for last, but it can yield the most significant change. What people in your life are you ready to let go of?

It’s often said that ‘you are the sum of the 5 people you most surround yourself with’. With that thought in mind, what does that say about you if you are surrounding yourself with toxic, energy-draining people? And how does it affect your mood, mindset and motivation?
The thought of “decluttering” people and your relationship sounds cruel and probably makes you feel a tad uncomfortable, icky even. It doesn’t mean you need to cut them off completely, but perhaps limit the time you spend with them and their access to you.
I haven’t decluttered any people from my life recently but I’ve become aware of how I feel after spending time with certain people. There are people in my life that leave me with a positive feeling after spending the day with them. These are the people that I chose to share more time and myself with. I knew that whatever I told them would be met with interest and support.

The people I did declutter were celebrities and social media personalities. This is something that often gets overlooked but what you consume on social media, Netflix, the news can impact you just as much as the people you spend time with. It makes sense when you think of it because many of us spend more time online than with actual people.

I went through my Instagram list and unfollowed many of the celebrities, gossip, clothing and news accounts replacing them with travel and expat accounts for inspiration. We also started to watch more travel and expat vlogs and informative vlogs on blogging and video editing. It helped inspire and motivate us to keep moving forward.

Those are our 4 categories to reflect on to declutter your life. Unlike a house or room declutter that can be completed a few isolated times a year, these non-tangible things require constant reflection and work.

Have you ever tried to declutter your life? How was your experience?

-written by Kathleen